do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care
it's all an illusion there's too much confusion down down down with your heart find find find the secret turn turn turn your head around baby we can do it we can do it alright do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care do you believe i can make you feel better too much confusion come on over here can we get together i really i really want to be with you come and check it out with me i hope you i hope you feel the same way too...
Wednesday, April 06, 2005 :::
at this point, i feel so small that's when i figured out what my paradoxical problem is
you try to be big, but the more self conscious you get, the more important you're trying to make yourself, the more you compare expectations to reality... the more you're aware that you're just small.
small, when you look up to power figures. you choose who to follow, or even seeing gods among people to idolize. and that can be dangerous, because in that instance, you forget that there are so many others out there who look at you and think you're in some kind of cult. This does not mean that being influenced is a bad thing - but the sad thing is, the so called conscious options we make is afterall influenced by conscious options others make. And such conscious options may not be harmless manifestation of a beautiful intention in the first place.
at that moment when others look at you, it's no difference than you looking at yourself really. and i've been caught. in a moment, where I asked myself, 'what am I doing here?'
where did the virtue go? and you realize, maybe what you think, you actually are. the 'Teen Creed' sitting on my table says it right you try to fake that it's not part of you, you're just being that someone that you think is the best tool to fit in but eventually, maybe i am that someone.
small, when I look at something I love so much I can give so much love. but small, when things become all about myself. That there's no place for others to love. That there's no place for others to be better than the one inside you. the up-stir of bitterness. gosh, why am I experiene the same emotion twice in the same day? over different things, but same root of thought.
and I thought this should never happen, given the circumstances.
people say you should be selfless it takes so little effort to love your friends. it's a bit harder to love your other neighbors. even harder to love your enemies.
selflessness. you can do all that - until you put yourself in a situation when you care for your interest more than anything else and you care about what other see in you that you no longer care what you see inside yourself. that's another form of selfishness, don't you think?
self consciousness can be selfishness in disguise, really.
ah, that ego case again.
Flipping through TIME, it's not surprising that there's a huge coverage on Pope John Paul II. He was an extraordinary man. His influence didn't limit to his lifetime on earth. He is still an enlightenment - the ultimate epitome strength and love. Humility that's not only a respectable virtue of his own, but a powerful testimony for the world to see. That we're the weakest when we try to be big. We can only be strong when we're humble.
To accept others. To accept yourself. To forgive your enemy. To forgive yourself.
The way to the perfect life, reality overshadowed by the transient age of truth.
it's all an illusion there's too much confusion down down down with your heart find find find the secret turn turn turn your head around baby we can do it we can do it alright do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care do you believe i can make you feel better too much confusion come on over here can we get together i really i really want to be with you come and check it out with me i hope you i hope you feel the same way too...
